Anyalogy

i remember the last time that i went home this late. you were there with me. Together, we tried to battle the boredom that we're facing. We tried to talk about as many things as possible. We tried to converse like we're that close. We tried to make ourselves comfortable. Oh, I remember that specific day. Too many things happened within a short period of time.

And now, i am here at this very same situation- alone, having no one to talk to. I have no friend who can take the boredom out of me. I have nobody who can make me feel comfortable. I have nobody with me.

How i wish that i can repeat that moment once more. And i have only realized now that i have missed a wonderful opportunity- one that could never be repeated.

Long time no blog! I know I have been missing in action for the past months. If I am not mistaken, my last blog post was posted last March. It's like I have completely abandoned this website. Typically, I would say that the reason behind this is school. Well, that is not the case right now because despite the hectic schedule, I still take time to write. In fact, I have been writing a lot lately. I have recently won an essay writing competition in our region, which proves that I have indeed been expressing my thoughts.

The reason why I have been gone for quite a long time is also writing. The content of my writeups seemed to change a lot. They have been primarily focused on finding myself, doing normal teenage activities, and experiencing things that correlate to growing up. In short, I have been writing a lot of personal thoughts. I have actually filled quite a number of diaries for the past months. I preferred to keep my secret thoughts within myself because I think that keeping information to yourself is also a part of growing up.

However, I still made some prose, poetry, and other pieces which I am willing to publish. Those pieces are going to be published soon.

Xoxo,
Anya

I remember his tremulous smile
When we were all in the gloomy dark aisle
I remember his tough last night
But he was still a shining bright light

I said a sweet short farewell
For he taught me so well
He gave me a lot of good protection
Henceforth he is my one true inspiration

*In a truth or dare game*

Marcus: truth or dare?

Liza: Truth

Marcus: Did you ever or do you like me?

*NO ONE TALKS FOR A FEW MOMENTS*

Liza (in a hush tone): To be frank, I used to like you.

Marcus: YOU LIKE ME?

Liza: I USED TO like you. I liked you, but it wasn’t the right time. I tried to give you some clues, but you weren’t able to figure them out. I tried to be clingy and talked to you about my dream guy. I basically described you, but you were still clueless. A few months later, you started to like Jamie. You constantly asked for advice on how to impress her. You told me that my ideas were works of a “genius” and said things like, “You’re the sister that I’ve never had”.

Marcus: Why didn’t you tell me? All you needed was a little courage. Maybe by now, we’re already dating and we could have had a strong relationship.

Liza: I eventually realized that our friendship is too precious to take this type of risk. We’ve known each other for years, but I know that you’ve never looked at me the way that I used to look at you. For you, I am just the “sister that you’ve never had” or your best friend forever.

Marcus: But-

Liza: Don’t worry, it’s all over now. I only think of you as a brother and sometimes, I would even tell myself “You liked the wrong guy. He’s also the brother that you’ve never had”.

*no one talks for a few moments. Again.*

Marcus: I only asked you that question because I also used to like you. It turns out that we loved each other at the same time, but neither one of us had the courage to talk about it. I told you that I liked other girls because I wanted to get over the fact that I was falling for my best friend. We may have liked each other at the right time, but not at the right moment. We weren’t emotionally ready for what was coming so we chose to ignore the whole situation.

Liza: Hey, we’re becoming too emotional right now. Besides, which one would you choose, something that’s new, but might not last long or something that’s old, but would last ‘til the end of time?

Marcus: I get what you’re trying to say and I’d choose the latter one. Our friendship may be “old” for it has gone through so many obstacles, but at the end of the day, we are still the best of friends. If we committed into a relationship with one another and it did not work out well, then we’d just destroy our friendship.

Liza: Don’t think of that too much though. What’s done is done. That’s our friendship motto, right? No regrets. Friendly relationships between a boy and a girl usually go through this kind of problem, and I am happy that we surpassed this well.

Marcus: Yeah. I am glad that we are making the right decision. Best friends forever?

Liza: ‘Til the end of time.

P.S. -the picture is not mine, obviously. it is a property of peyton meyer and rowan blanchard. (god, i love them so much and this whole piece is inspired by them)

Happy 2017!

It’s the second day of the year and what would be a better way to start it than to and evaluate yourself during the past year?

2016 was a year of growth for me because throughout the year, every single day, I have been growing as an individual. Looking back, I can say that I am a different ‘person’ now compared to the start of the year.

A YEAR OF SORROW AND ADJUSTMENTS

My year started as a really rocky one because I lost one of the most influential person in my life, my Lolo. He was one of the people who raised me and taught me all the good values that I know of today. Living a life without him was really hard for me and for the rest of my family. One notable change for me is that I don’t have an instant ‘sundo’ for school anymore. For the past years, with just a simple message, I can already go home within 10 minutes. But now, I also have to take note of the schedule of my mom, dad, and uncle. I also figured out that I was really dependent upon my Lolo. I couldn’t even clean my shoes or tie my shoelaces properly without him. That is why it was a painful year for me because I could remember Lolo by simply doing simple things. It would make me feel nostalgic and sometimes, I’d cry.

A YEAR OF SOCIALIZATION

During the first half of the year, I was this really awkward girl who did not even know how to interact with her fellow teens (well, I wasn’t really a teen back then, but you get the point). I would not go out of the house on weekends and would only stay at the guardhouse while most of my classmates are all eating outside of the campus. But now, I just seemed to be doing a lot of the things that most teenagers do. I am not saying that I became ‘wild’ in 2016. I just became normal.

I am really thankful that God has given me a great year, one that I could always look back on and only think of the blessings that He has showered upon me. Yes, it may be a really rocky year, but it just proved to me that there is no permanent thing in this world other than change. Even though He has taken Lolo from us, I am still thankful that I got to spend nearly 13 years of my life with such a wonderful person. Lolo is in a good place right now and I am thankful that God will guide him throughout his journey in heaven. Nonetheless, I am grateful for the chance to grow as an individual. Happy 2017 and may this year be a successful one too!

(Pagpasensyahan niyo na po ako. Sadyang konyo lang talaga ako magpost sa social media kaya't naisipan ko na ipost itong JOURNey ko)

Hi! Isang JOURNey nanaman ang mababasa ninyo. So, start naaaa.

I started my journey as a campus journalist back when I was in 4th grade. I am not like some of you na pinilit or ni-recruit ng adviser na magpascreening kasi I've always wanted to join the school publication at makapublish ng article sa diyaryo. Nakwento na ng mama ko dati na may writing competitions na nagaganap yearly at siya mismo nung time niya ay isang news writer sa school paper and national qualifier din kaso wala silang pera that time eh kaya hindi siya napadala sa manila.

Anyway, nung grade 4, kakaunti lang ang nag-apply as staff, kaya sigurado na may spot ka talaga as contestant sa DS. Kaya naman nasali ako sa Radio Broadcasting-English and 2nd Place kami noon. Okay lang naman yun sa akin kasi sabi naman ng teacher ko ay isasabak niya ako as a news writer the following year.

Grade 5. SY 2013-2014. Saklap nung una. Di binigay sa akin ang position as news writer. Ang binigay noon ay Copyreading and Headline Writing. Tbh, hindi na ako motivated kasi in the first place, hindi ko maintindihan yung ginagawa dun lalo na yung count sa headline at yung symbols. I was willing to give up sa journ life ko.

Little did I know that God had a better plan for me. That year, nagdebut ang Science and Health Writing. Hindi alam ng SPA ko na may ganoon pala na contest, kaya sinabihan niya ako around 30 minutes bago ako pumunta sa copyreading contest room kasi right after copyreading, scihealth na ang mag-occupy ng room.

Nashock nga ako dahil sa DS ay nakapag 10th place pa ako sa copyreading. Nagstart na akong umiyak dahil ako yung may pinakamababang place sa lahat ng participants from my school. Then, WOWWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW NAKA2ND PLACE AKO SA SCIENCE WRITING. Grabe. Wala akong kaalam alam sa Science Writing noon ha.

So, nag RSPC na. Nakapag third place ako, so pasok sa NSPC sa Subic. Ang saya ko kasi makakapunta ako ulit sa Subic, kasama ko pa ang best friend ko at siyempre dahil parang natupad ko na din yung isang pangarap rin noon ng mama ko.

Nung NSPC, may Concurrent Session noon na hinost ng SciDev.Net na about sa Science Writing. Siyempre, sumali ako dahil open to all naman eh, mapa elem, hs o SPA ka man. Naexcite ako doon ha kaya nung contest proper, lutang na ako.

Then, nag-awarding na. Ang pinakaunang inannounce ay yung sa SciDev na concurrent. Bale, wala pang kahit isang journalist ang tinawag o umakyat sa stage. Then, biglang inannounce "Third Place..blah blah... Mariela Anya Soriño" WOWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOW. Ang saya ko talaga kasi nakaakyat pa ako ng stage at nakakuha ng medal na napakalaki. Yun yung pinakaspecial na medal ko na nakuha.
(Sa mismong contest, sawi ako ha)

Grade 6 SY 2014-2015. Sa DSPC, nakapag1st place ako. Sa RSPC, still, 3rd place, and sa NSPC, no place. Okay lang naman yun sa lahat ng umaasa sa akin kasi it was kind of a year of drought for our division kasi konti lang ang taga Gensan na nakapagNS noon.

Grade 7 SY 2015-2016. Ito, unexpected ulit. Ang goal ko lang kasi ay makapasok as school paper staff. Yun lang. Period. Then, bigla akong pinili na kumatawan sa school namin at hindi yung mga higher year. So, happy ako. Nagtuloy-tuloy naman ang swerte at nakapag 1st place sa DSPC. No place sa RS, and okay lang naman.

Grade 8 SY 2016-2017. Everybody expected a lot from me during the DSPC. I also expected that I would at least make it to the top 3 and compete in the RSPC. Then, amazing. 4th place. No RSPC experience this year. Lahat ng winners ay Grade 10 and SHS at lucky na ako na makapag fourth since young pa ako compared sa kanila.

Currently, I am in a stage of "landslide". Hindi in a good way, but in a kind of bad situation. Kasi as time passes by, pababa ng pababa ang rank na nakukuha ko sa press con. Sige lang. Kaya ko to because I know that He has planned a brighter future for me at hindi naman pwede na puro panalo lang ang makukuha ko. I am just a mere human being after all and my fate depends upon Him. Kung para sa akin nga talaga ang achievements, para sa akin talaga

Alam kong ako'y napakabata pa upang talakayin ang paksang ito, ngunit gusto ko lamang ibahagi ang aking pananaw tungkol dito sa murang edad. Maaaring magiging iba ang aking opinyon dito sa aking pagtanda, kaya't gusto ko ng ibagagi ito ngayon upang aking balikan kapag ako'y nasa tamang edad na.

Ating nakagisnan na ang mga kalalakihan ang humihingi ng kamay para sa isang kasalan. Ngunit, sa tingin ko, ito ay isang pagkakamali. Ayon sa Connecticut University, 15 porsyento ng mga lalaki ay hindi seryoso sa isang relasyon at walang planl na pakasalan ang karelasyon.

At ngayon, kaming mga kababaihan ang inaakusahan na nang-iiwan at unang bumibitawsa isabg relasyon. Ngunit, sa katunayan, ito ay ang kabaliktaran.

Paano ba malalaman ng mga kababaihan na ang kanilang minamahal ay mahal sila nang wagas at hindi iiwan at ang relasyon ay kasalan ang kahahatungan?

Ito ay sa pamamagitan ng isang simpleng katanungan.

"Ako ba'y iyong mahal at maaari ko banh kunin ang iyong kamay para sa isang kasalan?"

Ang mga kababaihan ang dapaf na humingi ng kamay para sa isang kasalan dahil dito malalaman kung seryoso ba ang ngs kalalakihan na sila'y hindi iiwan at mamahalin magpakailanman.

i'm sitting outside
on a hot summer morning
waiting for you

everybody's there
happy, celebrating
screaming and shouting

the girl with the brunette hair
so long
so dark
like it's never gonna change

bangs lying, almost covering her eyes
her eyes so sweet
so bright
so dark
like she's hiding a mystery

When you throw a stone into a mirror, it will be shattered into pieces that even the strongest adhesive can't bind together.

It is like a metaphor for life problems. Once a relationship is broken, no matter how simple or complex it is, it can't be restored to its original state anymore.

photo credits:carving-woodcraft.knoji.com

I loved you and I still do.

We've known each other long enough for me to say that neglecting things is one of your expertise- and for me to say that I am one of those neglected things.

I loved you and I still do.

Are you tired of hearing it already?

I loved you and I still do.

How about me? When will I get tired of thinking of you? When will I give up on you? When will you stop rolling on my mind?

It's been three years.

Why did I even start loving you?

Why do I still do?

It's a ukelele, not a guitar.

It has four strings, not six. It really is a small instrument, not a small version of an instrument. It has really has higher tones, and not just tuned a few notes higher.

Some of you only knew this now, right?

It's like a metaphor o the misconception of love. For years, you thought that you were meant to be together, and that your idea is right. But let me tell you, it isn't. Your love was a false one and was just a misconception, but at least you learned something from it.